True Story

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Journalling:  Tid + Simple

Inspire

Prompt - Prod 

Audio..

Exercise - Express - Excorcise 

To smile may take less muscles than to frown but to smile and wave and say good morning to passing dog walkers I’m almost certain requires more effort than a frown.

And a form of grimace is sustainable over a longer distance and that can be turned into a frown more responsively to any incredibly persistent salutations.

I did say hello to everyone that passed me..
Although I do believe that perhaps a panted greeting spat through cascading sweat isn’t desirable.. Nevertheless..

It was also realised that the pressing of one’s eye to my running top sleeve leaves a kiss mark. You have to press - not wipe. And no, it’s not red, that would imply cosmetics on my ocular cavity.. or some form of anthrax related infection.

I didn’t do the full 6KM circuit.. I did about half I reckon. 20minute run.
And then walked along the beach.

My concern was for my shins which after sprinting during some interval training last week have been ‘giving me gip’.

I need to warm up and down better.
My warm up was okay but I did a circuit:
Press ups - Dips - Pull ups - Squats - Lunges

x3sets of 10

I’m using my mother’s marble, with steel frame, table.
We’ve had it since I was born and the legs have a kind of apex that I can hold onto. It’s not wise since the steel doesn’t have the strongest joins anymore and should it tip then there is a chance I’d land a slab of marble on my head.

Actually - that’s very possible. I don’t think i shall do that again.

DAMMIT! - I’ve now made three cups of tea and then forgot them.
It is a sin to put tea into a microwave
(I don’t think it’s in the main bible.. maybe an appendices to the sloth bit)

The dips were a replacement for close press ups which even drawing a triangle with my hands to give support - whatever muscles those are.. Ouchy.

Big thing for me has been lack of fridge space.
Having had the luxury of a full fridge to my own devices my food intake has been much closer to nutrition rather than sustenance.

This is very disjointed. I’ve been editing a piece of work for the last week.
It’s pretty tricky to tear your own thoughts apart.
And when I was out running today I found demons creeping in, which I think I’ve been too fatigued to entertain, I’ve let them feed, stagger away bloated and be nullified. The ‘..in the grand scheme of things’ transcendental approach.

However only being part fatigued today I found I was falsifying motivation.
I wasn’t proud of myself as I’d stayed within my limits, I wasn’t strictly maintaining a regime as I hadn’t timed/measured distance properly.. and I wasn’t enjoying the music in a way I have been doing recently.. despite having restocked i-pod. When my run turned back into a walk at the halfway mark of a previous run.. It felt.. like a betrayal.

I often get that sensation when editing.
Going over something but not with the same infusion of ‘inspiration’ or fresh breath that drove or compelled me to commit to the first authoring.

That telling is a rut in the ground. Going over it could be seen as satisfying, but..
It somehow denigrates the first experience - The first expression, although likely to be improved in it’s clarity and thus potency by being an idea with the freedom to enter the readers pattern.. it has served it’s purpose within yours.

Had I wanted to gain from my run this morning I would have either had to improve on my previous effort - Changing the parameters slightly - Or redefined it from an endurance challenge to.. part of a larger endurance challenge.

I looked at the Pavillion in the distance, flags flying - This was the halfway point last time. It didn’t seem so far away now. There was no revelry attached to reaching it. Onwards and upwards, bigger and better.. Supersize my run.

Where in reality consolidating my run through improving form, time, breathing, enjoyment/music, (VO conversion rate I think) base fitness and relishing in the new thoughts it brings.. That would ultimately be more satisfying.

But the thrill of the new - Finding a NEW way to express, to exorcise..
that is what makes people take up ten martial arts, thirty business ideas..

I recognise that.

Appeasing that.. this is the challenge.

Who wants to tame that primal urge to find a better way rather than improve on the existing way?

Or is it a case of R&D conundrum?

How much time do you spend editing - How much time reexpressing?

A different route can bring new energy and enthusiasm..
But if you can bring compounded power to that new route then you may fizzle and fall.. and suffer a greater attack upon your fortitude.

If you never invest in being your best people can only be critical of the beginner.. and they are always gentle.. if not impressed by innovation within a new field..

The new boy can fight, run, create, dance, surf, sing, speak..
At GM motors a military general was said to have some round and highlight the strategy..

GM were building niche markets and then being the best.
If a fish can build its own pond then it can be assured it will be the biggest as long as it swims furthest from the schoal.

But it leaves the fish with little resources as the new pond may leak and the fish has thus far shown no commitment to any of the ponds it has created (PHEW - I nearly wrote ‘he created’ imagine how disastorous it’d have been if you saw through my, I mean ‘the fish’s’ allegory).

There are some CORE concepts within my written piece.
Perhaps 6 by the overarching titles I’ve used.

My subtitles are eating me alive.
My subsubtitles are feeding off the excrement of the subtitles and then the subsub-subfiends are regurgitating the content back into the subtitles and making them choke, thus making the core concepts seem weak and unstructured..

The whole things seems broken up and confused despite the number of ponds and great content they have.. None of the ponds have broken but without the golden thread that only the fish holds in his memory it’s unclear how to navigate through them.

You’d need someone with an overview of all the movements..
OR the fish to take them on a journey through the ponds..
OR the fish to start busting the walls between the ponds down and get ready for the bigger fish from the original pond to come play.. And hope they don’t eat him.

It’s only courteous to wave to fishwalkers as they pass.

Let’s hope they can hold the thread - and that you don’t get frustrated by the weight.

Might be an idea to allow a cascade effect. But an upward cascade.
What flows up?

What takes the subtitles back up to the core?

The conclusions. The round ups.
The cool downs.

They will support others in drawing attention to the index, the frame and the structure.

—

The regime of action is there.
The routine is connected.
The internal broadcast occurs.. though not regularly enough.

Time with sanctuary occurs.
Casting out spores to an evaporation.

Bring the rain - And remember to smile.

You can tell a lot about a man by his shoes.

Currently Asics GT 2150 - For when you need to ‘just keep run-ning-Gah’

The circle is certainly complete today. Relaxed today.
Saturn returned last month and brought a reflective tone. It also brought an inward turn and comparison. This self judgement fitted a little ugly on me and brought a weight to each planting of my foot.

Progress was slow.
However it was on a distinct incline..
The distance may have been minimal but the elevation.. 

It affords perspective.

Since 2006 my Journey has been - impressive.
If to no one else.. certainly to myself.

Although I often reflect it has not been until the last month that I accounted daily.
It was something I did in a diary prior to primary school - throughout - then in my teenage years.

I’ve been torn by the concept of a blog.
The transition between fiction and non-fiction has been challenging.

Memoirs and autobiography has been a preoccupation of late.
Gradually over three years - during the course of the existence of True Story I’ve watched my learning notes turn into meta-learning notes - then become peppered with diagrams - then become.. well.. a Quest in and of themselves.

The Journal of the past four years - since my first day in London has been distributed across various publishing fronts. It was just prior to this that I was playing with MySpace.. then Facebook.. then began on an action learning course - that was proceeded by an extended period of coaching/mentoring and then rolled into business plans and an MBA.

My action research project since last September has been more stringently documented but still not through an aggregated lens.

Then, like all great things I was sideswiped from the darkness.

Gradually I have been investing in my personal fitness.
Personal training during 2007 - from end of 08 through 2009 
Martial arts - then western boxing - then skipping..

Then my partner became a Personal Trainer and I became a guinea pig.

I began to work on core stability, strength, power, balance..
Things which had been my darkness and although aren’t my forte..
they are no longer things I fear.

For the last month in broad daylight I have blogged about my exercise regime.
Unintentionally at the offset - I hadn’t realised Tumblr had parasitically attached itself to my Facebook AND my Twitter account…

But it was not something I shyed from once I realised it was occurring.
It meant I was writing for an audience once again.
But this time - an authentic voice that was close to my journal(istic?) voice.

The lock on my diary was bust open and my head began to spill..
Awkwardly at first but then into other channels.

Then a piece of work in the form of a White paper appeared - giving me the opportunity to aggregate my thoughts.

This is still in progress
- Still being distilled..

I’m proud of much of it - As I was of my MBA dissertation and some of the modules. Although that pride did involve some falls - and some total collapses and crisis of faith in my writing: both content, timing and validity of myself as the channel…

The confidence of my voice faltered and became a grating, attuned screech that I realised has been somewhat astray from my intended action.

It was a wake up call at the dissertation and this paper has proved similarly challenging - and at heart disturbing.

Whether the audience or the author is more disturbed..
If writing does not unearth through articulation a truth of the moment..
It shouldn’t exist.

The distillation would leave no condensed nugget of wisdom and the author would be a mere typist/writer of symbols.. scratching lines on a page with no yield.

I’ve certainly manifest something in myself.
Today that which I’ve authored wears new shoes.

This time last year I was heading out into a park near me attempting to corral my energy to apply my attention into the frame of a structure 3months in the making.

I was virtually the architect of my own doom.
An outlet served me well then. For this paper.. it has been Juneathon.

All credit to it - I wore out two pairs of shoes and a scooter on it.
Now I ascend.

Perhaps not in the sense of loosing entirely from my form but with the aforementioned perspective I can see I have graduated.

I will allow it now.
I invested in a vehicle slightly closer to home.
In organisation of the resources in my immediate control.
In faculties that truly belong to me.

No external facility - No internal combustion to propel me - No legal structure to house my activity - No encumbrance..

In November I seek to loose myself of a final anchor to my identity.
My harshest lesson and one that has defined the parameters of my activity of late. However it also catalysed the culture of my behaviour.

Social responsibility came home to roost. My romantic notions of community yelled at me in spaces of sanctuary.

The story of having no home made me value what relationships and threads I really do have - albeit an odd mesh.. it is the home I internalise.

Now to graduate.

And to mark that I shall transcend this medium.
To walk the talk I shall be acknowledging the work of the good people of OsmoSoft in utilising their TiddlySpace platform in conjunction with the interface of Debategraph.

The narrative therapy I’ve been applying for myself is to be something I’m going to open up as an approach. A systematic form of addressing community relationships - Of mediating and providing diputation arenas and forums for communication.

This will take a while to elaborate upon but there are properties to the platforms/tools and the general methodology I will be applying that provide a flow to the process.

The systematic approach is iterative.

There are no plastic rules - more plasticine ways of playing the game.
I am going to open this version of the book up soon and see if that is as much fun, and as rewarding as the challenge of Juneathon.

This weekend I party with the rest of the gang and no doubt revel in the frequently articulated quests, the fresh acuity each true story entailed.

The value of such a community and the ability to author a journal to communicate with them across an infrastructure that enabled, encouraged and empowered..

It was an engaging process and is an integrated ethos.
My quest is to seek further tools to embed that facilitate the next graduation.

New shoes - Bound on.

Follow my Lead - I promise I don’t know where I’m going!

http://welcome.tiddlyspace.com/

And people say we’re slower than Whippets..

A few alternate words and that song could’ve been a disaster. However in this case it would have better captured my mood - it may detract from it’s popular culture appeal but technical specificity vs. general appeal and comprehension has always been a delicate see-saw to temper.

I road/park tested my new running top today. It was fresher than it has been for the last three days and so the collar although not necessary wasn’t unwelcome to take the breeze off - Certainly on my return to the gym the ability to open up the neck was beneficial.

I get the feeling it’s a cycling top - it serves the semi-pro runner than I am just as well. The Boston Marathon would fear my prowess in this top.

I was 15minutes round the park today. I wore a watch - Now either the lady last time got my time wrong OR I took two minutes off my time. I can imagine it being a mixture of both.

My observation about the Dalmatian comes from my passing one on my way round. To clarify this is not a Croatian person from Dalmatia/n islands but a polka dot canine. It was bounding.

I loved watching the run. It was joyful - Energetic, demonstrating some power and strength but joyful. The course wasn’t direct in it’s intent, nor was it so willful that the air seemed to curve when it took a corner - the pace seemed to be dictated by a more natural rhythm.

A beautiful animal - There was a Dalmatian that came into my garden when I was a child. It bolted around the place, tilting from side to side - a free agent in the field of all possible direction - self determined but respectful of the organic definition yet not confined by the boundaries.

That’s my totem. I shall bound as the Dalmatian.
I’m going to have to check what they were bred for.. I have a horrible feeling that instead of it being a proud hunting tradition implying strength or grace.. their destiny was medical experimentation for make up.. Wikipedia shall grant me insight.

Juneafun continued today with a freshness appropriate to the climate.
I am happy. 
I mastered the Matrix..
(This was a machine in the gym, not a comment on the capacity to manipulate the fabric of Maya)

It’s a funny machine with the ability to raise and lower the height of pull handles.
You stand in a kind of cage and pull up/down or raise or cross, and you can add different handles for different widths of grip or holding the hands together..

A man called Alfred showed me how. He was very instructional - I decided to focus on ‘chopping wood’. There was no ‘carry water’ exercise - perhaps it’s a case of better recognising it.

I took to the bench after this - then the line of machines nearby.
The Matrix had made me weary so I kept to lower weights but the standard reps.

Then did some abs stuff and plank.

A highly satisfying return.
I stepped out into Capital clarity.

The air is glorious today - Both yesterday and today (and tomorrow) I completed my journey of QiKung and press ups.

I shall be reading Songlines - Bruce Chatwin.
The Dalmatian shall be my totem guide on nature’s ley-lines through the impending terrain. Bounding will bring me awareness of my situation and a concious playfulness will bring a joyous insight into the context.

Decisive action to express my Self and Monkee around as I advocate for other.

Hey hey we’re Stakeholders and people say we’re part of the value proposition, let’s grant them resources from the supply chain to compound the service offering and increase efficiency and productivity through informed consent affording a flow to that which is guided.

That Dalmatian had all the knowledge - Spotty boundy Beast.